Mexican Cherry : mexican

Lately life has been a rollercoaster.

From an earthquake that left me some post traumatic effect, having to change office due it and college madness that comes from dictators that call themselves teachers~ But what makes things hard everyday is not really an outside influence. I feel like now live is sleeping on a cutesy and spiraling outta control SLUMP!

And realizations came, telling me there are a lot of minds wanting me to go some way, but in the middle of satisfying everyone's needs or expectations, I lost it. Had a breakdown a couple of weeks ago and from there I could tell that every action was directed towards others and not to my own achievements. Doing stuff and not getting credit gets harder when you apply knowledge to it, when you have lived that way always and then your brain tells you: Hey! Shouldn't we get credit for things we do? Well yeah!!

After that spiraling madness of life in September my Elle Woods slash Andy from Devil Wears Prada motivation hit me hard. It sums up into these big mistakes of mine:

1.- Ok. I am not eating propperly. Not feeding my body, no no, NOT FUELING it!

2.- Worrying over the biggest test/more important one ever in my college lifetime, but not doing a damn thing about it!

3.- Watching every minimalism/style/make up/decluttering/early riser... PRODUCTIVITY videos but not applying shit to my own life.

4.- I realize I'm LATE for everything! And bae was very clear telling me I could lose huge opportunities just for arriving late every single time plus, nobody likes that, not even I like it...but now it has become a habit that needs to stop!

5.- Changing behaviour of work and productivity to stay - chill-

Abandoning your aspirations, goals or routines just to please others can become really dangerous to yourself. If you're ever in the middle of that cycle, please stop. Seems like everyone wants us to be some kind of way, but c'mon there is nothing bad with being yourself. This hit me this weekend...why did I ever stop working until late night? Why did I stop perfectioning my work? Why did I kept on putting my own confort over way more important things?

For example, dieting over 10 years ain't pretty. Let me tell you, it becomes a disastreous loop of dissapointment. Why? As far as I can tell and leaving aside ED thoughts and behaviours, there was never enough done, always leaving in the middle, when progress was not arriving as fast as wanted or when emotions hit hard and food was conforting. Tonight I tell my self... Babygirl it is time to STOP!

Time to rise above everything and reach to my inner strength. No pleasing others, time to fight for myself and don't let anyone shame me for who I am or how I do stuff. This time it is for me and I want my best! Change & progress won't be visible in one day, maybe two or maybe nobody will notice for weeks...months!

So this is the plan:

First, follow the nutrition plan I have and stop indulging just because.
STUDY: Even reading a chapter or concepts everyday will help.
Wake up EARLY for once and everyday ~Always, because no, I don't need the extra 20 minutes of sleep, I need to get ready and make it early to work, noup...make it early to EVERYWHERE! This needs to become a habit again.
Use all the knowledge on productivity acquired from other talented and productive individuals.
Stay true to myself. Live for myself.

October is gonna be such a great month, I'm gonna own it, take it in my hands and get the badass girl that is in me right out for the world to know ~

I deserve the best and no in betweens, either yes or no

9:01 PM No comments

What makes sex good? No, what does it take to make it AWESOME?

Perhaps nobody ever sits down and actually thinks it through and I have asked those around me on what they think makes an encounter of sex, the most delightful one.

In life we get experiences that we pay for, such as trying new food, getting on a roller coaster or flying across the world, we even pay for sex and it is nothing new but, even though it's there...can we pay for good sex?

Not all encounters are magical and this is what my friends (mostly women) have told me when discussing the subject. Most of them argue it is a lack of attention to detail, which pretty much sums up in finding the clit, tragic isn't it? 2017 years counted and men still cannot find the clit...and don't get me started on the G-spot!

But gathering all information on good and bad sex, location is not the main problem.

First, let me remind you not all women will agree or identify with this, and this cherry knows there is a diversity of opinions and experiences, this is not an universal truth, just a woman telling her experience or other people experiences in this freedom space~

Getting back to it, when I exposed this topic to other women, first of all they would mention the physical aspects, you know, the obvious reasons of why a sexual encounter would fail or be prone to, but as our talk got deeper it seems like another side of the crystal came up and most of them would actually mention emotional connection.

They say emotions are tricky and dangerous, mostly one of them that plays with our daily life in every single way... LOVE.

Women agreed they would have the best sex of their lifes with those they loved and it's no surprise really! Sex is not only physical, but also a challenging and eye opening act of connection (sometimes of course). Just imagine, you are connected by a body part = penis, tongue, hand, fist... = with another person, it doesn't happen everyday! Someone is actually inside you! And when these parts have that click that makes them not only fit together but blend into pleasure, oh boy! That's when the magic happens.

They also mentioned even though the partner was not the ideal type they had in mind in the physical way, the connection they had was more than enough to keep the orgasms hitting the door, making them have the stronger ever they have experienced! Cause even with a big and porn ideal penis, emotions bring a lot to the table and they might even play against you if your partner does not feel a click.

So, sex is awesome and yes, you can have it without feelings but with them it seems women are experiencing more than good sex...they are unlocking the pleasure that comes from love and if you ever get to experience a true connection that can translate in sex too, you have discovered the MAGICAL SEX.

Until another midnight of Sex and the City inspiration

🍒🍒🍒

10:22 AM No comments

Era un día de San Valentín cualquiera, al menos cualquiera de los que pasé en preparatoria y la escuela decidió que era buena idea llevarnos a todos al cine a ver una película de zombies que sí, se enamoran y bueno, de lo lindo todo.

Antes de esta ocasión, mis amigos sabían muy bien de un crush mío, ese chico dreamy pero nerdy, que tenía sonrisa colgate y además era listo, jugaba volleyball y se lucía por lo alto. Era flaco y bastante reservado, pero para mí en ese entonces era un chico que me gustaba demasiado.

Volviendo a lo del cine, días antes decidí tomar el asunto en mis manos y confesarme, era cuando el drama coreano me daba bastantes ideas y eso de la confesión fue muy popular, así que dije ok, ¿Cómo decirle? Inventé un dichoso intercambio de regalos entre toda la clase, solo para poder comprar una taza de espresso blanca y que no me dijeran nada en casa, aparte de pensar en hornearla con un diseño hecho por mí.

El hecho de que fuera homemade también me daba esa ilusión de que el chico dijera wow! ok! seamos algo! (lo cual ahora pienso que fue super iluso de mi parte), pero bueno yo la hice toda linda con la frase en espiral y por dentro de la taza se leía:

Will you be my valentine?

La envolví y en una bolsa color morado (mi favorito), esperando lo mejor, otros detalles no recuerdo.

Ugh! Ese día me llevaron en auto al lugar y no sé si salimos a destiempo o algo por el estilo pero llegué super tarde y cuando todos ya estaban dentro de la sala. Lo que si es que mis amigos sabían que me gustaba y me guardaban un lugar junto a él, aunque cuando llegué alguien más lo había tomado, así que pasé toda la función en la parte de abajo y con un amigo que gracias al cielo me ayudó a no sentirme tan sola en el área de maestros... acabando la película salimos y todos andaban ya sea de shopping o viendo si íbamos a comer juntos.

Antes de esto llamé al chico y sin decirle nada solo le di la bolsa, porque preguntó para quién era o si me lo habían dado, extendí ridículamente mis brazos y se lo di, después de eso dijo amablemente, gracias! y nos separamos....en parte porque era la primera vez que yo hacía algo así con alguien que me gustara (lo cual era inusual) y también porque de la emoción salí corriendo lejos y llorando del shock y de lo boba que me sentí haciendo eso, aunque varias de mis amigas felicitaron el momento y lo valiente que fue.

Pasó el tiempo y de hecho fuimos a comer en la misma plaza; no lo volví a ver ese día, así que era obvio el resultado. Otro amigo solo me pudo decir que fue un "shock" para él y que no sabía que hacer, pero era obvio el rechazo, sino qué más?

Ni siquiera fue capaz de mencionar el tema, nunca hablamos de eso y solo lo dejé ir...me trató como si no hubiera pasado nada, solo amigos y ni siquiera de los cercanos. Creo que eso cuenta como experiencia de lo que muchos llaman friendzone, pero solo sé que desde ese entonces decidí que yo no haría el first move de ser novios o algo así, o sea si decir hey me gustas! pero no la pregunta que hace oficial a la pareja, porque esa experiencia me hizo darme cuenta de que quiero vivirlo, ser yo la que reciba algo lindo como lo que hice, que ese momento alguien lo preparara conmigo en mente...

Confiaba mucho en la valentía de declararse una y hacer la pregunta, pero al menos una vez en la vida, quiero sentir mariposas de que el hombre en cuestión haga una pregunta así, cursi o no, es algo que me gustaría y es por ello que dejé de lado la idea de ser yo la que hiciera tal cosa, al menos para "la pregunta" y no puedo decir que no he pensado en ello, porque cuando te pega el amor puedes hacer cualquier cosa, pero al menos en este asunto aún me reservaré ser el primero que alce la voz.

🍒🍒🍒

12:47 PM No comments

1:12 AM No comments

4:07 PM No comments

Today is the day I will be exposing a story that I believe a lot of people can relate to.

Cherry entered college

In the begining everything was fine, met friends and within there was a special girl that was very alike in terms of working, fact that made projects super easy at the time and with the best grade always. Of course we partnered for everything, it was the best choice, wasting less time working and getting ultimate results, yup! It was good.

What I'm about to say might sound like bragging but as someone has told me:

You don't have to apologize for success, not when you have fought for it and worked you ass off to get what you have~

- I've always been an excellence student, yes, always, my parents raised me with that purpose in mind actually so, rivals tend to come on the way in order to take your first place and smile above you, now to add a bit more, I am very competitive in all matters, and want to win all the time (who doesn't?) and this girl presented to me as the same. She is very very competitive and will literally do anything to get what she wants. Either way our grades were always really the same, so we were practically the perfect TEAM.

Time passed and...turns out Cherry fell in love, and love has a cost sometimes... it all went perfect but on the journey, there were some challenges for da relationship to grow and remain as beautiful as it is at the moment (Ha! spoiler!). Let me tell you, Cherry is very emotional, her feelings are intense most of the time and there is no way to stop her from crying when she really is hurt. I have mentioned in TRUST ISSUES: PART I a bit of the story or some effects of it, at least the ugly side.

So, considering a lingering sadness

...and growing ache in roots of jealousy (obviously potentialized by real facts and events) this specific friend became a shoulder to cry on, since she was pretty much the one I had to spend three quarters of my day with -we had all our classes together- and she really listened.

At this moment of tranquility now I realize that many of her consolation speeches were mostly adding to the pain, they were not improving in any way, but rather depressing and making me doubt even more of what was going on.

This became eviden after my storm was over and happiness took over, since Cherry told her about all of the cute and fun stuff that happened regarding the painful situation and her reaction was pretty much cold stone and she instantly began to remind me all the bad aspects that his particular person has, how I didn't got what I wanted specifically, how this could lead to failure, how the other girl would never go away and well... reminding me all of the bad and no, no, it was not in a sense of hey girl be careful, I don't want him to hurt you again, no, it was said with such a tone that made me feel weird, even uncomfortable.

Why wasn't she happy that I finally was?

Throughout our college journey competition was evident as I said, but pretty normal actually, in my head love and growing up internally was a priority, because I consider these experiences one of a kind, the ones that help you learn more about yourself and guide your path towards a true destination, along maturity and tranquility in the overall life scenario. After my second semester breakdown due obtaining a B that would bring my GPA down by a tiny important bit - that in the end didn't matter at all- I realized there was more to worry about and the grading process is not fair at all for anyone! You can get an A with plenty methods that do not require learning for real, but let's say that while I had fun and relaxed a bit, she struggled a bit more with the love part.

My friend had a tough experience

That could all be solved by propper communication but at the moment we both suffered, but in her case studies were number one priority, above anything else and it was obvious she loved to beat everyone in the class, not in the best way we must add...

To make it shorter, this friend made it obvious that it was all good and magic when I was beneath her, in grades, crying over heartbreak, getting fatter even! but aslong as she had it "better" our so called friendship that well was mostly just partnership, was gonna remain the same. When my life turned around and got finally lovely, she started to leave and to be honest it may be one of the best things that happened during my college days.

I cried over this, yes I did, because no matter what we had, it was a huge part of my life aswell and suddenly breaking all contact was not really the way I expected things to go, and as a villain, which makes it worse, when literally all I did was study, go to work and spend time with my loved man. It came as a shock but all we lived, it became clear to me that she wasn't really a nice energy to keep around, she was the opposite of it, always expecting me to be down or at least not above her. Many would say that it was not the case and I made it up, that is how social life works, everyone makes up things about events that aren't even part of their life, creating unnecessary rumours and unreal details.

After she left me

...cutting all contact we ever had, my struggle to survive without a partner to share work or free time in between classes was hard, but after realizing how bad our energies were together, how the interaction added no good to self development and greatness, then my soul was finally in peace, there was no pain, no tears, no late night projects, no drama, and most of all, there was no one to bring me down anymore, no one inserting doubt in my life.

Currently I spend my days working, lazying around and meeting friends, spending also a ridiculous amount of time dedicated to my love. In general it is all about getting better, enjoying life and remember these situations happen, we change, we are dynamic creatures that are in constant change, so I'm not surprised by that and can only learn with the experience, remembering all the good times we had together and expecting she feels the same way, living life to its fullest, with no regret or bad energy involved, I wish her all the happiness~

For all the cherries going through a situation like this

It all goes better, if your friend leaves, remember it is not your fault, we change all the time and it is most likely that you both do not need each others energies at the moment and to experience a different light is always part of life.

Remember all the good times and learn through this.

Cry all you want & need, even if you weren't truly friends, a partner always touches the heart.

Enjoy yourself: It is time to discover what you are in the most RAW state, explore all of your senses,time to reset and find

🍒🍒🍒

3:43 PM No comments

Hello! if you're new to my blog, take a look around, it might not be much (yet), but it certainly opens the gates to a new journey I "the mexican cherry" am embracing.

Through my life, lots of people have told me to write more, that they like it or that it would be good to explore new fields of it. I study a really serious carreer so, writing has to be just like that: serious.
Although I definitely love to write about what I study, and oh! I forgot to actually mention that I am currently studying International Affairs, plus an online Bachelor of Science in Business Administration (BSBA), it gets hard to study both at the same time, but it is so worth it. Ok, got lost a bit! I surely will write another entry focusing solely on university matters.

To continue, writing has always been part of me, since little I wrote multiple stories and published a few through contests and opportunities that came thanks to the school I studied in, which takes me back to a moment a teacher told me he could see the next Nobel Prize of Literature in me.
I might be a little discouraged, because I'm obviously not pursuing that exact title, but also terribly inspired to make writing an even bigger part of me.

So this is just the background of why I write, now let's move on to the blog issue.

If you browse the internet and have accounts on tumblr, youtube and instagram, you might have already encountered some people that publish by a lifestyle tag. But if you look overall, it is probable too polished all the time, which is super inspiring to put your S**t together, but also quite discouraging when you're scrolling down on an instagram account of a girl who's content is amazing and shows multiple trips, parts of the world and of course, luxury EVERYWHERE!

This scenario might be how a lot of people actually live, but I looked around and noticed that most of us really don't live like that. It inspired me to write about life without that, and don't get me wrong, it is not bad in any way, just different! I wanted to read a blog that had the average girl, the normal life and difficulties that everyone goes through. I know most of the bloggers cannot write about personal stuff too much because it might cause trouble or go out of the already stablished blog content and most of all, some actually say it is risky to write like that and about that.

I decided to show the internet a different side of the lifestyle story, to actually share personal stuff that imply relationships, school, crisis and even sex. To write about literally every single aspect that life has, no matter what and no matter how. My life motto or at least what I follow in my everyday life with my friends is:

"If we don't discuss these topics with each other and learn about it real close, then how are we gonna know?"

That above is why I share with my friends most of my experiences, because sharing is caring. Yes it is! And the real stuff might be hard to swallow -no pun intended-, this is the reason I want to share with you guys all of it, and also why you're going to find entries that could sound a tad dramatic from time to time.

Ok so after we talked about the theme and writing background, let me tell you: WHY A BLOG?

Simple!

- It is currently free to share it all, while I stablish content and explore the world of blogging.

- To explore Creative writing: Carrie Bradshaw has been an influence to write the creative way, but since I still don't have a column, a blog is the way to express.

- In the blog, I can write about everything I want and how I want without any restraint

And the last but most important reason: A special someone gave me the final push to it, the one who I have to thank the courage to start this path and really if you ever read this, thank you so much! You were right, there is nothing to fear or lose.

This is my story, the summed up one so it doesn't become a book! And the journey for the Mexican Cherry continues, with plenty more to write and learn...

**Comming up: Mexican Cherry enters the social media way**

12:28 PM No comments

Hello cherries!

Today I present you the moodboard of the week! Even though it is arriving a bit late than expected, this gathering of beautiful visuals is pretty much the sum up of last week also. Between handling events, meet ups with friends, cooking an average of two hours per day to follow a diet and of course every single project that needs to get done...or started, there's been a topic right on my mind that I notice everyone is working on.

You guessed it

PRODUCTIVITY

First of all, let me credit an awesome tumblr blog for the upper right image where a a notepad, bullet journal and starbucks appear, click right here to check Eintsein's inspiring post and make sure to check the entire blog since it is besides beautiful, incredibly helpful!

This week the moodboard consists of florals, nostalgia, and productive inspiration. Let me list the elements that compose this visual board:

#GIRLBOSS

If you haven't watched this serie please do, it is awesome and every chapter had me truly inspired, since it is based on the book by Sophia Amoruso and her real life events creating a successful business. The story is so relatable and can be enjoyed easily, btw the soundtrack is bomb!

Coffee Shops

Could be weird for some, but I love, love, love to work in a coffee shop. Somehow it gives me double motivation to finish my duties and it is magical to write with a cozy & embracing environment hugging your every thought as you manage to get things done!

Flowers

We are in Spring, at least in Mexico and flowers are everywhere and the reason they are on the moodboard is because they happen to inspire my sweet and delicate side, but they also evoke what life is, since they grow and wither right in front of your eyes, just like ideas, like that project you wanted to do but never did, exactly! it could be blossoming, but instead you let it wither.

No more! Our garden of thoughts and ideas is meant to be taken care of, so let's dive in to nourishing our minds and stop procrastinating or making less of what we think ;)

LOVE

Yup! I seem to be a helpless romantic! Could be true, but cmon guys, don't you love love? It is pretty much everywhere we look, surrounding us with nature, people, stories, music and everything there is. Without love, whether it is self-love or not, it is my believe that without it, most of what we do becomes mechanical. Love what you do, love what you do, love what you are! ~

👯

12:18 AM No comments

*This content was previously posted on Bloglovin', no worries I wrote it and wanted it to appear in here too*

To be honest, completely and nothing to hide honest, there are still times I feel vulnerable and insecure.

Why? First of all, I've never been a girl that forgives and forgets quickly. Nope! I am the opposite and I only forgive when there are really strong reasons to. Life has treated me weirdly, not bad, but surely reminding me (or at least that is what my mind processed at the time) that I needed to be better, that there is always someone better than you and you can get replaced no matter what.

That thought has gotten me into discussions with others through time, but in the end it still remains, in a lower degree, but still...replaceable. It comes with a low self-esteem and the fact that most of the time I do not feel prettty at all. I do not even look at myself that much, the image of mine is distorted in my head and I remember my body and face way too different every time.

But this perception problems are meant to be written in a different post. They serve as the background of my current feelings though.

Tonight, the night the thirteenth episode of Girlboss was playing in my dimlighted room when I realised that what happens to Sophia, happened to me aswell. In a different way, but the feelings were pretty much the same. Short story, she gets cheated on and at first her mind doesn't process the load of emotions, helping her focus on the launch of Nasty Gal. She discovers the unfaithful man getting a blowjob from a girl of the band he plays the drums for...yup! She watches and goes away, but doesn't have the courage to break up with him or better said...she doesn't want to!

I have been there, you know, I have always been the jealous kind but this time my jealousy became pain. Watching my love flirting around with another girl and knowing exactly how he behaves so, everytime you see them together you know there is something going on between them, even if he doesn't tell anyone, because you love him girl! You pretty much know everything about him and there is a point where intuition makes you wonder even more. He cheated on me in a very weird way and to the day, I still imagine different scenarios, ones where I fight for what I want and confront him from the beginning. Ones where he tells me the truth and I can leave him and keep going with my life.

Don't get me wrong, my current life is damn happy!! I'm in love and enjoying life with ma special one~

❤❤❤

A year ago, everyone that knew me was tired, tears wouldn't stop flowing and all I could think was how? why is he doing this to me? Am I not good enough? and the worst of all ... Is she better than me?

These questions wandered my mind through a couple of months, I ran into her and thought if she wondered the same, if she knew the man she was flirting with or dating (I don't have the details on how far they went with their connection) was the same I loved, the same that was talking sweet to me, texting and still kissing me. We will never know, but this cherry thought she had no chance. Knewing ma man, she was way more hipster style than I ever will, she listens to music that they both enjoy, she knows more about digital programs and I won't mention what she does but, yeah they both knew about it. So, interests and looks were against me & my mind played tricks with my head making me feel like shit.

Not a beautiful girl, fat/chubby, short, straight no live hair...etc. Have you ever felt like there is something going on but you have no proof of it? Well, since he did the "stuff" in private and barely anyone knew about this situation, I had no other way of knowing what was going on. I tried to ask him but he's not the kind of man you can actually discuss these doubts with.

Going back to trust, mine was broken. I felt like everyone could lie to me, betray me and leave me. I felt like there was no one real, no one caring enough. In part that was true, but mostly it was my insecurity showing through, it was heartache pouring out of my pores, it was everything I needed to express to him and couldn't, every single question left unanswered and every time I had to see them together.

My days now are close to perfection as I wrote above, but there are sometimes these horrible flashbacks that show me what he did. How I cried my heart out and fell asleep with puffy eyes and mostly, every single time he broke my heart. Someone said that the only way to know if you can trust someone is just like that, trusting. That is the only way and even if you ask, there is no guarantee it won't happen again.

Yeah, hooray! My heart was broken once, and even though it kept loving, the healing process is quite slow, my love cannot fullfil everything and reach the areas that were neglected once, I need his help and reassurance just to know and believe that nothing bad is happening, that he won't do that again. Yes, it sounds awful, but just a single sentence is more than enough.

There are some things I wish I could change, because honestly, sometimes I feel like he is not sure about me and that is the reason of not publicly showing we are together, of not defining our status and barely interacting in other spaces where strangers don't form a barrier of privacy. These are the reasons the trust I deposit in him sometimes gets all alarmed and clingy, I am truly sorry for this.

Trust is a really weird concept and everyone gets to experience it in a different way...

Even if I don't get anything back or in return to what I do and say, believe me, he has become one of the most important people in my life and I am sorry to him for not being able to forget as quickly as he does, sorry for sometimes getting jealous of stupid things, real sorry for reacting so weird when I feel a slight sign of what happened before, if you ever read this, sorry bae...I am working on it and slowly moving on and forgetting every single detail of what happened, no matter what, remember that I love you my dear.

Till this day sometimes I'm weak and have bad thoughts, but surely wanting to improve and slowly but surely, get over these annoying trust issues.

10:46 PM No comments