Mexican Cherry

 Work does NOT define me

Perhaps it sounds a bit rude, but believe me, the fact that you now work for a company, organization or anything alike, does not change who you are, maybe there are some changes, which is normal, from the schedule to what your activities are, but the person you are before entering the job remains.  As my mother asked that, my heart fell. It could only feel a little bit of sadness for the fact that people expect that from you, that you become a bussiness woman once you enter the "ADULT WORLD". 

Did i change? Well, now I'm more tired and I have had a hard time adjusting to my schedule. After the gym I can barely open a book and focus on learning new theories or investigating, but that also happened when I entered college and changes were made because of my personal decisions, not the institution or the learning experience. 

A job should be an addition to your person, even if you love it and breathe for it, without it there should not be an empty girl, because with and without the job I am a full 100% human that has herself very clearly, and no job, payment, institution or meeting will ever change the fact that I can live without it, I can be anything I want and I do NOT need a job or a title to be myself. 

The question was perhaps directed to the growing child she still perceives, but at the same time it contains a lot of expectation from just doing another activity, working or not, I'm still awesome! Still myself, and the working girl concept, as magical an empowering it is, it also pressures a lifestyle that might not be as flexible as we think, pushing people out of their tracks expecting something out of them that doesn't necessarily has to be the "best".


So, if you're ever in a situation in which WORK seems the only defining aspect of your life, let that feeling go away with the wind or maybe you can even blow the feeling far far away too cause no matter what, do not let anyone define you over anything!


Until another time

Mexican Cherry 

This entry might be one that a lot can identify with, since it is about a process we all go through our entire life, yes loves, it is Change. 

When we are little, everyone places expectations for us, how we have to be as adults, our profession, lifestyle, even our sexuality is involved here! Every single aspect of life is ridiculously expected to be perfect, free of errors and always aspiring to become what our ancestors  couldn't. Somehow it shakes our little core, influencing decisions in our path. 

I will ommit the biological change for this text, later we'll be able to discuss such matters in a more detailed way, that and the adversities it has for us when it happens.  Ok to go on, our mind is always processing information, brain is one hardcore worker! To me the struggle that comes with change is the hardship of moving out of comfort, out of my coccoon in which I develop for a period of time, or maybe even the routine that enhances my productivity and happiness also. Could be anything I am happy with and believe me, everytime I get to a good point in life, where I don't even worry and smile everyday the issues arise, having me thinking of the past, mistakes, future and worries overall. 

It stops me from living my happy present 

Even though we are forced to change by growing up and social activities recquired with age, some of us really cry our heart out every stage of life. I remember being so afraid of entering college and damn, I'm graduating this year! It is unbeliavable to me, the actual fact still hasn't processed enough in my mind to accept that in a few months I'll be crossing another stage and will have to adapt to another and scarier one no matter what.


Avoiding reality 

To me, games were just a part of my day that caused fun, they give my brain a rest but also exercise some of the creativity, strategy and motor skills. It is all fun and games until you realize that you spend your day wishing for some time to play, which becomes a whole afternoon and then a daily routine.

Even though I don't judge games or people who play them, I notice that for me, they have become an escape from my changing reality, since I rather play Age of Empires than study or clean my living space. I realized the act of gaming became my comfort zone even though the majority of the time I lose in them, but it is incredible how building a virtual reality is so relaxing, numbs the mind and lets it breathe without worrying about anything real.

Until you wake up in the morning and there are no clean clothes, your bedroom is a mess and you haven't propperly fed yourself in a long time, or fed the brain some juicy information.


Recognition and Acceptation 

I am not doing anything for myself.

Repeat and actually recognize that even though it is lovely to build an entire civilization or watch other people reach their dreams, you have a body & mind of your own that needs nourishment, no one else can do it for you and no game will ever let you manage real life as easy as a ctrl clic will ever do.

It feels like crap, yes! Believe me, we all go through a moment in life that destroys the cloud of numbing we sometimes live in, nobody likes to hear they're failing to themselves. And by failing I mean not taking care or listening to the person you are, no interruptions and no comfort treats of any kind but a raw version of yourself.

Once we accept that we are not really working towards anything to take care of ourselves, then change can happen. This time, change that we can sort of manage and launch without being absorbed by an external change. To me it came represented in the way of decluttering, cleaning, dieting (learning how to eat) and exercising. I'm not perfect and all of these had setbacks, but I recognized my obstacles and got up to emend them. Gotta remember life is one, is today.

So, what next? 

Ok, we have discussed ups and downs, now what are we supposed to do? My honest advice and what I am following at the moment is to be true to yourself, listen to what you need (body & mind), don't give up, changes might be hard but it's happening either way, some of them are unavoidable and the best we can do is outgrow them.